Someday I will laugh...I hope.

I love Avery. There are times that I must remind myself of this fact. Today was one of those days when I had to remind myself more than once. For posterity's sake, or perhaps for therapeutic purposes, I thought I would blog about this day of days. Maybe someday I will look back and laugh. Ok, smile.

Today is, I think, the 3rd official day of summer vacation. (It seems like the third month.) The whole summer started off a little badly because the satellite has not been working here since Saturday. I don't allow the kids to watch a ton of TV, but they do watch it on a daily basis, and short intervals of television allow me to keep my sanity. Anyway, the earliest a tech could come look at the satellite was today, after 4 but before 8. (Super helpful.) Although seemingly unrelated, it is also worth mentioning that it has been warming up a bit here, and that has attracted lots and lots of biting bugs outside. Their biting has been an uncomfortable deterrent to my scrumptious-looking kids playing outside. Que bored kids. AND, as if that weren't enough, the potty in the kids' bathroom has been out of commission for over a week, and I have been playing potty police trying to keep everyone out of it until a plumber can make it over. Que stressed out Mom.

Anyway, my bored brood spent most of today bickering, making messes, sneaking snacks, and just causing trouble in general. Of the four kids, Avery had chosen especially naughty things to do, and had been the instigator of most of the fighting. She was already on my "list" by mid-morning. (My back-up, Will is vacationing in Florida (lucky dog), so I am flying solo for all of this.) We manage to make it through lunch and nap time. Early in the evening, first the plumber and then the TV tech show up. The plumber, who happens to be a good friend of the family, tries to snake out the toilet. Whatever is clogging to toilet manages to entangle the snake, and the only way to disentangle the equipment is to break the toilet. Now, this would be bad news on any day but this same thing happened to the other potty about 6 months ago because Miss A flushed a bottle of nail polish down that toilet. How could we possibly be doing this again?!

One smashed toilet and a huge mess later, it turns out that the clog was caused by a CELL PHONE. I sit the three oldest kids down, and begin questioning them. Landon just shakes his head "no". I figure it probably wasn't him because he is 7, and knows better. Tristan insists that he never, ever flushes the potty. Sadly, this statement is probably more truth than exaggeration. I turned to Avery, the likely suspect, given her past. "I didn't flush it." I wanted to believe her, but something in her eye gave her away. "Are you sure?", I pushed. "Ok. I flushed the cell phone down the potty." Argh!!! (I love Avery, I love Avery, I love Avery.)

I am ad libbing here, but the rest of the conversation went something like this. Oh, and to add to my misery, the satellite tech is in the room, listening to the entire conversation. He has his back to me, and I can see that his shoulders are shaking from his silent laughter. Jerk.

(M) "Why did you flush the cell phone down the potty?!"
(A) "I don't know."
(M) "We do not flush cell phones down the potty."
(A) "Ok."
(M) "We only flush potty and toilet paper down the potty."
(A) "K."
(M) "We do not flush anything else; not cell phones or nail polish, or batteries, or Legos, (did I mention that there was also a battery and a Lego down there?) or anything else down the potty. Do you understand?"
(A) "Mom (indignantly)! I only flushed a cell phone, the nail polish, and some of my toys down the potty. Nothing else!"
(M) "Avery (slowly and deliberately)! We. DO. NOT. flush. our. toys. down. the. potty. either."

Luckily by this time, it is bedtime...or close enough. I tuck everyone into bed and call my Mom to lament my woes. I am sitting on the phone when I realize Sawyer is out of his crib! He has never gotten out of his crib by himself before. I ask Avery, who shares a room with Sawyer, how he got out of his crib and she tells me she doesn't know. I push for an answer, and she finally admits that she climbed in Sawyer's crib and "helped him out because he wanted to get out". Ahhhhh!!!

As I have been sitting here typing this, Avery has been out of bed two more times. Once for a drink, and once to go potty. She did inform me that she did not flush the potty tonight "so it doesn't break again".

I love Avery. I love Avery. I love Avery.

I need a vacation.